Are you desperately, passionately in love?  Are you convinced that you’ve met your “knight in shining armor” or your beautiful “princess bride?”  Before you take the next step, you must read this book.  Why?  Because far too many love-struck couples get engaged without taking the time to seriously consider if: 1) they are truly ready for marriage; and 2) the person they are dating will make a good marriage partner.

Dave Gudgel is committed to helping you enter into engagement with your eyes wide open.  He wants you to have the vital, life-long marriage that God intends for you to have.  So before you get engaged—get this book!

Dr. Bill Maier
Vice-president and Psychologist in Residence, Focus on the Family

Wow this book is the total package!  Not only is it a primer for what a healthy marriage should look like, it also offers insights from the wise counselor and the almost engaged.  Anyone considering marriage would benefit from this book.  Thanks, Gudgels!

Bill Butterworth
Creative Solutions

As a graduate student in a serious relationship, this book was a blessing from God. For the past two years I have been seeking God’s direction concerning potential marriage possibilities with my girlfriend. This book has been the answer to my prayers. Dave Gudgel’s fascinating book is easy to read and incredibly entertaining. Mixing biblical truth with personal stories spoke volumes into my life and was extremely helpful as I was able to relate to many of the thoughts, feelings, and situations presented.  I truly believe I am better prepared to move forward in my relationship as a result of this book. Seeking God’s guidance and remaining faithful to Him, I look forward to great things to come.

Peter (28 years old)
Virginia

Before You Get Engaged is an insightful book that emphasizes the emotional, physical, and spiritual completion one must have before considering engagement. In every chapter, Gudgel intertwines many different personal stories, as well as a side commentary from his son Brent and girlfriend Danielle Fitch who are considering engagement.  Through these stories, the reader can easily relate to the complications that emerge in serious relationships. Not only does Gudgel include important questions, he provides a series of answers in order for all couples to discover their own unique answer. Although I am not personally in a relationship, after reading this book I know what to look for, question, and confirm in the future when I do find that special someone.

I really enjoyed reading your book, especially since my oldest sister is in a serious relationship that might turn to engagement.

May (18 years old)
Phoenix, AZ

“This book spoke directly to me as I read it while I was going through
a transition out of a three year relationship.  Brent and
Danielle’s story gave me the hope and encouragement to move forward
through the rough times and put God back at the center of my life.”

Corey (28 Years Old)
Los Angeles, CA

“Before You Get Engaged addresses life priorities that can sometimes get a little out of whack in what my best friend calls the ‘initial love fog.’ It asks valid questions, questions that come from others that have already been married and divorced. How is my relationship better or more solid than theirs? It made me feel ok for having the same questions. It’s a very exciting and somewhat scary time, not in a bad way, but in a way that you just want the very best for you and this person that you love. Enticing, encouraging, and an easy read, it was engagement from a different, very positive perspective.  I can’t wait for my guy to read it!”

Jorden (Age 26)
Dallas, TX

BRENT GUDGEL - Brent is a filmmaker in Los Angeles. An owner of the production company Chronicle Project, he directed the award-winning documentary Dear Francis, which continues to air on Showtime and The Movie Channel throughout 2008. The film is about the most HIV-infected nation in the world, Swaziland, and has also been used by non-profits, universities, and shurches across the country. He has also worked in over 20 countries for clients including Ford, Saddleback Church, Azusa Pacific University, and Union rescue Mission. When not on a set, Brent occasionally travels to conferences, colleges, camps, and churches across America to speak about social justice. Lately Brent has been directing the Deidox documentary series, telling true stories of how God is active in the world today.

When they started writing this book, Brent was dating Danielle Fitch…

DANIELLE FITCH - Danielle is a graduate from Azusa Pacific University where she studied English and teaching. She has been involved in the church and non-profit world most of her life in some capacity, and she is subsequently committed to international, social, and environmental causes. One of her most important experiences has been in the country of Ethiopia in intervals during her teen and college years. She hopes to do something important for Jesus, whatever that may end up being.

Brent and Danielle both agreed to work on the book while they were considering getting engaged.

Evidently the book helped. Brent and Danielle were married at the end of 2007.

LINKS TO OTHER WEBPAGES
Chronicle Project
Dear Francis

Today, more than 70% of couples will live together before marriage. Most do so because they think it’s the best way to prepare for marriage. Even among those who claim to be “born again,” 30-50% will live together because “it just seems to be a good thing to do.” But does living together actually set a couple up for a better marriage, or potentially set them up for failure?

Before You Live Together was written to help couples make wise decisions about whether or not they should live together before marriage. Through real life stories, relevant statistics, and practical spiritual insights, this book can help couples decide if the prevalent opinion is right when it comes to cohabitating.

Before You Live Together can be a valuable resource for those who are considering living together, those who have a friend or family member who is considering living with someone, or those who work with or counsel young adults or singles of all ages. ]]> http://www.davidgudgel.com/2010/01/before-you-live-together-book/feed/ http://www.davidgudgel.com/2010/01/before-you-get-engaged/ http://www.davidgudgel.com/2010/01/before-you-get-engaged/#comments Wed, 06 Jan 2010 04:39:32 +0000 admin http://www.davidgudgel.com/?p=31

Deciding to get engaged is one of the most important decisions a person will ever make.

70% of married spouses say, “If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t marry the same person. I would have married someone else.”

Once you start the journey towards marriage it’s difficult to turn back. Yet the majority of advice is about what happens after you get engaged, not before.

It’s for this reason that the book Before You Get Engaged was written.

Before You Get Engaged is a book that offers priceless advice and direction from a Christian perspective for daters who are considering popping (or answering) the big question. The book is divided into four sections:

Part 1: Are You Sure You’re Ready?
Part 2: Do You Make a Good Couple?
Part 3: What Do Others Think?
Part 4: Now What Should You Do?

Complete with fun and endearing proposal tips as well as ways to gently ask your significant other for more time, Before You Get Engaged will equip you with the insight, confidence, and peace to make one of the biggest decisions of your life.

In Before You Get Engaged authors Dr. David Gudgel, his son Brent, and Brent’s girlfriend Danielle interact in a discussion that not only reveals twelve relational indicators indispensable to a healthy, lasting marriage, but fleshes them out with dialogue and insight straight from Brent and Danielle’s journals. This book is designed to help daters know if engagement is truly the best next step in their relationship.

Pre-Engagement Notes for Teachers or Counselors
Session 1 - Teacher or Counselor notes [doc] [pdf]
Session 2 - Teacher or Counselor notes [doc] [pdf]
Session 3 - Teacher or Counselor notes [doc] [pdf]

Pre-Engagement Class Workbook
Week 1 - Engagement Class Workbook [doc]
Week 2 - Engagement Class Workbook [doc]
Week 3 - Engagement Class Workbook [doc]

Half Day Seminar Notes
Half Day Seminar [doc] [pdf]

The following “Personal Workbook,” designed to be used along with the Before You Get Engaged book, is free and for your personal use.

Personal Workbook [doc] [pdf]

The video doubles as a summary of what our book “Before You Get Engaged” is all about…

1. Propose while looking out at a “Kodak Moment” view: the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, the Golden Gate Bridge, etc.
2. Set up and prepare a romantic candlelight dinner and propose during dessert.
3. Propose in a romantic setting with a fire burning in a fireplace, romantic music playing, and candles lit around the room.
4. Propose at a gathering of family and friends.
5. Propose at a favorite restaurant.
6. Propose on the beach while overlooking the ocean or a lake.
7. Propose on Valentine’s Day by buying a heart shaped box of candy and putting a ring in place of one of the chocolates.
8. Propose in a park that has special meaning to you.
9. Propose at night while taking a moonlight walk under the stars.
10. Make a scrapbook of your dating relationship and have the last page be a love letter asking her to marry you.
11. Give your proposal on a ballpark scoreboard.
12. Wrap a ring in a gift box, give it to her, and then propose after she opens it.
13. Give her a love letter or note and then propose after she has read it.
14. Stage a scavenger hunt to various places that have significance in your relationship. At each location leave a rose with the next directions attached. At the final stop, have a ring attached to the rose.
15. Propose after you give her a ring box with an IOU in it.
16. Propose at the Symphony by placing a ring inside a bag of M & M’s.
17. If you don’t live in the same area, surprise her with a proposal after showing up when she least expects it.
18. Propose while at an amusement park, zoo, or other place that has special significance in your relationship.
19. Have a baker make a cake with your proposal on it and put it in the display case or window.
20. Rent a billboard in a strategic location and plaster your proposal on it.
21. Contact the media – they may be looking for a special feature for an upcoming holiday or special day broadcast.
22. Have a banner made with your proposal on it and have it put up in a special place like a restaurant, on a ski slope, while at a sports event, etc.
23. Propose while watching the sunset from a beautiful location.
24. Find a secluded quiet place and simply get down on one knee and propose.
25. Tape a video proposal and post it on YouTube. Tell her you found a great video you want her to see.
26. Use poetry word magnets to write out your proposal on the front of her fridge.
27. Take out a full page ad in a newspaper that you know your girlfriend reads.
28. Go out for a night of dancing or Karaoke. Ask the DJ to pass the microphone to you so you can dedicate a song to her and propose.
29. Play hangman and have the phrase be “Will you marry me?”
30. On a flight, ask the flight attendants if you can propose over the PA system while flying at 30,000 feet.
31. Create a webpage declaring your love and proposing.
32. Use your cell phone to send her on a text message scavenger hunt that will lead her to a secret spot where you will be waiting to propose.
33. Put together a mix of your favorite songs and play them as you go for a drive. Time it so you’re at a special location when you get to the end of the mix, and then propose.
34. Create your own crossword puzzle with your proposal in it.
35. Propose at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve.
36. Have a friend or family member set up a picnic or romantic candlelight dinner in a scenic location (and then sneak off just as the two of you arrive!).
37. Propose while on a gondola or horse drawn carriage ride in the moonlight.
38. Write a poem asking her to marry you, and read it to her.
39. Show up for a date wearing a t-shirt with “Will you marry me?” written on the front.
40. Take a hot air balloon ride together and propose while you’re up in the air.